When your child wants to join the circus
Flickr Photo: likethebirds
UPDATE: Remembering that my mom probably never stops worrying, my “little” brother is in blue [VIDEO]
Every once in a while — no check that, all the time, I worry about the future of my children.
Of course, I want them to be kind, compassionate and loving human beings, but I also often get trapped in vicious cycle of wanting them achieve professionally and “be realistic.” Far from being the finger-wagging “you have to be a doctor or a lawyer” kind of parent, there are times when I struggle with the possibility that my kids will want to act on the stage, create art or [insert "starving" profession here] as a way of life. I may romanticize ”taking the road less travelled“ but, seriously, who is going to take care of us when we are old? Joking . . . kind of.
I want them to do what I want them to do.
And then on my best days, I am reminded that who my children become and what my children do in their lives must be about who God intends them to become and what God calls them to do. Yes, we parental unites will guide and nurture as best we can, but, as all parents eventually discover, the children in our lives are not ours to control, but God’s gifts to nurture and love. Sometimes our task will be to challenge and direct them and, at other times, it will be to give them room and encouragement to dive into and explore the possibilities that unfold before them.
This past week I had a conversation with a friend about his son and my daughter. We commiserated about looming college decisions and our kids who want to juggle and act. In that moment, I found another companion for the journey of parenting kids who are determined and focused on paths that I would never have expected and have absolutely no idea about myself. But here we were caught in that loving space of seeking God’s hopes and intentions for our kids . . .
One of the ways I have tried to gain some perspective is to notice and embrace the joy that my children experience when they are living their love and calling. My oldest daughter, through her high school will devote three-five hours, five days a week for four years to her theater discipline . . . all while keeping up with her academics. She has shown to us, in her commitment and care that this is not just something that she is dabbling in, but this is something that she is called to be and become.
Motivating. Inspiring. Cool.
My above mentioned friend’s son . . . the juggler, clearly has the same kind of skills and commitment. Not many of us wake up and say, “You know, I think I want my child join the circus and be a juggler when he grows up” but watching Nathan’s videos, how do you NOT want to encourage what is so clearly a gift?
I share all of this in no way to say that seeking God’s intentions is an easy task or that kids who become doctors, lawyers or business leaders do not feel called to those professions. I share this as a way to remember that in my children’s lives, as well as my own, we cannot let our hopes supersede God’s, but rather we must continually strive to have our hopes be the same as God’s.
I’ll let you know when we figure out how to do that 
This was originally posted on www.reyes-chow.com.
About Bruce Reyes-Chow
Bruce is a San Francisco based pastor, writer, consultant and coach who focuses on issues of faith, politics, technology and parenting. See reyes-chow.com for his full bio, publications and contact info. You can also see what others say about him via on wikipedia.
