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Live and Let Live? 10 Things Parents Are Constantly Judging Each Other On

  • by Mike Johnson
  • in Advice for New Dads
  • — 20 Sep, 2012

Often the biggest judges of parents are non-parents. We’ve all been there. Before we had kids we thought:

“I’d never let my kids out of the house dressed like that”
or,
“my kid would NEVER have temper tantrums like that.”

Now let’s fast forward to actually…having kids. Lots of those “never’s” are kicked to the curb. When you’re in the the trenches raising kids you do what you gotta do and many beliefs of what’s acceptable can change.

But, we all still judge each other. You’ve hung out with a couple and you and your wife go home and judge.

“I can’t believe they let their kid drink all that soda!”

“Can you believe the way they let the kids talk to them?!”

We would all be best served to just live and let live, but that rarely happens, so I wanted to give new dads (and moms) a head’s up on some items that other parents are always judging us on. It doesn’t matter, people can judge all they want – but it’s nice to understand the parental judgmental dynamics. So here you go:

Earrings
Early earrings on babies is a cultural thing, but people have so much to say about it when other people’s kids get their first ear bling.

Kid’s eating habits
“That kid only eats chicken nuggets.” “You take your kids to (look of fear and disgust)..McDonalds?!?!?” You’ll hear that all the time from parents when their getting the judge on.

Extracurricular activities
We live in a society where kids’s are overbooked. Who know’s if that’s a good thing of not. It certainly depends on the kid. But if your kids’s schedule isn’t filled up with soccer games and piano recitals – the hot breath of judgement is upon you. And if you have them booked clean everyday? - the hot breath of judgement is upon you

Clothes
Like when a little girl has a t-shirt that says “Future Hooter’s girl”. Other parents are talking behind your back if your daughter is wearing that shirt.

Breastfeeding age
God forbid a mother is caught in public breast feeding a kid who parents deem to be too old to breast feed. “Put that boob away!” they’ll shout…from the mountain tops.

Stroller age
This one that I’m guilty of. I used to constantly judge parents when they’d have a 4 + year old in a stroller – but hey sometimes you gotta get somewhere and that’s easier than having the kid walk.

Names
This one is particularly cruel, but parents judge on names all day long. “That’s a stripper name.” Can the kid have a chance to grow up? Why, maybe this generation’s stripper name is the next generation’s brain surgeon name.

Interaction with other kids
If your kid is too rough with other kids at the playground – you’re getting judged by parents. On the other hand, if your kid refuses to interact with other kids at all – you’re getting judged. You can’t win!

Screen time
People think that if a kid watches TV and plays video games that he/she will  automatically grow up to be an overweight video store clerk who can’t move out of mom and dad’s basement. Happens, but not always true.

Toy selection
“We do not allow Barbie’s in this house! Only expensive trains made from organic wood and books!” So much judging happens in the playroom.

 

About Mike Johnson

My Family. Boston Sports. Music. Food. Video Games. Founder of Playground Dad. Live in Northern California with my wife and 4 daughters. The Wire is the best TV show ever. My daughters still tell me I'm funny and that's all that matters to me.

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Tags: being a parentjudging parentsParenting

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  • http://twitter.com/ap60305 andrewpollom

    Mike- What a great article. Although, if my brain surgeon is named “Candy”, I might needs some references before I’m willing to go under the knife.

    • http://playgrounddad.com Mike

      hahah. i think I agree with you there Andrew.

  • http://twitter.com/ABetterGuy Be A Better Guy

    Such a true list! A couple of additional ones that made me want to strangle my fellow parents…

    We got more than a few looks and/or questions about my oldest still using a Paci when she 2. As if all her life development was going to be marred by doing that. Super annoying. Of course she ditched the paci on her own at around 2 1/2 and she wasn’t worse for wear as a result.

    The other one was around potty training. Listening to parents go back and forth at swim or gymnastics about how they are already potty training and asking the ever concerned “why” regarding why we weren’t there yet never put me in a good mood! Here’s to you over zealous militant Mommy/Daddy trying to potty train at 18 month old! UGH…

  • http://twitter.com/Momma_Brains mommabrains

    So true. I have to say I am guilty of making those judgements of other parents, and the longer I am a mom the bigger hypocrite I am. When my kid has refused countless healthy dishes I have made with love, it is with great relief that I serve him a pizza bagel and watch with satisfaction as he eats all of it.

  • The Monko

    You can add ability to sit still in a restaurant. Always getting”the look” from other parents when my three year old is bouncing on the seats

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