Language Barrier – !@#$…Really?

Today I was out with my family and we went to a popular restaurant here in Maryland called Eggspectation.  To be clear this is not a post that looks negatively on this specific restaurant.  I think of this place as a family friendly restaurant despite the sports bar in the front of the establishment.  On this particular day it was extremely busy and standing room only in the waiting area.  What happened while me and my family were standing there was almost astonishing, but yet more perplexing to the issue that parents face daily…cursing.  Is there no language barrier that keeps people from cursing around children?

A woman and her kids walked in and stood behind us, and the kids had to have ranged from 6-10 years of age.  As we were all standing there attempting to be polite and avoid entering personal space, a woman sitting down behind all of us on the community benches was talking at a normal utterable level and then all of a sudden said “S**T” really loud.  I immediately looked up at the mother’s terse face as she quickly pulled her boys in close to her as she attempted to shield them from the foul language.  I saw that look in her face and being a father I had the same look on my face that she had on hers…disbelief.  We struck up a quick conversation about foul language and the uncultured people not just sitting behind us but also everyone else.  This conversation led me to telling her about another conversation I had with another parent where I work who told me

“I went to my daughters school event and I couldn’t believe the things that these middle schoolers were saying!  There were words and phrases that I had never heard before or didn’t know that I middle schooler should even know!  When I asked my daughter what they were saying, she told me that I didn’t want to know.”

When I told this mother this story, she immediately agreed with me and said that even kids younger than that of middle school age had language that you would expect of an adult or that of a mule driver or boat captain.  The conversation was left at that but what stayed with me was the fact that there is no language barrier for children anymore.  Being a new parent I don’t know how long this has been going on and maybe my parents did a good job at shielding me from it.  How do you shield your kids without them having the feeling that their parents are being overprotective or overbearing on their lives.

Some things that I have personally had to do is the following:

  1. Clean up my own language – you can never teach them anything if you curse as well
  2. Be aware of my child’s surroundings
  3. If my son hears it – immediately explain that it was bad
  4. Inform my son on alternative words and proper language
  5. Direct my son’s attention to something positive

This lack of a language barrier among adults and children seems to be more prevalent since becoming a father and attempting to find ways to close him off from those environments is easy enough while he is four…but what about when he goes to school or we are out in public somewhere?  I can’t shield him from everything but what I am resolved to do is to to make sure he has a positive environment when he gets home and to allow him to express himself in a positive fashion.  When there is little I can do about what other people say, how we respond is crucial.  I am honestly not sure whether to steer him away, cover his ears, or whatnot…but one thing I do know is that I need to follow through with showing him and teaching him the better way to communicate.

There is no language barrier for cursing for children at times…I mean there are curse word generator apps for you iPhone and on the web.  Even though cursing is prevalent in just about every medium, I feel that who or where we introduce our children to can either lower or heighten that barrier.  It’s a choice to make for them…and I want to raise the barrier by teaching my son the proper way to behave.

About Michael Shindle

Lover of technology, startups, entrepreneurs, anything new and outrageous. I am always interested in the connection of science and art and how it plays in the world as well as the mesh of business and art and the balance you have to find to actually succeed. I am a proud father and am always surprised every day by his passion to find new things in the world that I have seemingly forgotten. He keeps me young!

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  • http://twitter.com/muminawe Wendy

    I watched the movie Horrible Bosses last night.Here it’s a 15. Have you seen it? No wonder the kids have foul mouths like they do. I was horrified. I’d never want my 15 year old watching it, but they all think it’s normal and part of life. The language and the sexual references were awful in my opinion. So that’s where they get it from…..it’s seriously bad. The problem is , if 15 year olds think language and behavior like that is ok/ funny, then society is totally and utterly stuffed.

  • Melissa V.

    I agree~ this is a difficult issue and there seems to be no age barrier on foul language anymore. I feel that if kids grow up hearing cursing as a part of the daily language surrounding them, they have less “choice” in whether they use that language to express themselves, because it seems more normal and acceptable. Language acquisition is largely of a similar quality to osmosis; it seeps in with little effort or contemplation. What you hear, you speak. That’s how we learn syntax and vocabulary; if cursing is a part of our vocabulary, it is VERY hard to weed out. Better to keep it out as much as possible for as long as possible to leave our kids the choice of whether to ADD cursing to their vocabulary as adults. IMO. I have asked older teens to please not swear in front of the little kids before, at a public park or in some sort of public space. I have found them responsive as long as I’m polite and try to have the attitude that “You must not have realized there are little kids here, and I’m sure you would prefer to protect them from hearing bad language,” rather than “I’m being bossy and you better obey.” As for other adults? I don’t generally have the nerve. =/

  • Siana

    Wow. I do not relate. Mother of two wonderfully behaved children, and we do not shield them from cursing or tell them it is bad. Why is it bad? Can you seriously, logically explain why cursing is “bad” when you are a child, but eventually is accepted talk amongst adults? With our kids, I tell them, if you talk this way at your age, other people will think things about you that may not be true. Like that you are a “bad” kid. It’s just words, and many confident, brave, happy, successful adults cuss the shit out of their day. Neither of my kids cuss, and I would never shield them from what becomes a quite useful way to express yourself at times.