Dear Parents,

I get it. I really do.

Whether it is the first time your daughter gets on the school bus or your son’s first foray out into the playground by himself, there is something that stirs deep in our souls that makes us want to roll their hearts in bubble wrap, douse their spirits with anti-bacterial gel and give them a guard dog lest anyone gets too close.

Seriously, have you seen some playgrounds lately? Sure there may be soft recycled ground cover and cool new climby rope structures, but from two feet off the ground it must look like they are about to enter some ultimate fighting cage match.

And why do we watch the news, read the paper or click on any links? At every turn we see stories about children being violent, online bullying pushing kids to suicide and crap, even the soccer field is no longer safe?

What the hell is going on?

Yeah, all of a sudden the whole bubble wrap thing doesn’t seem so crazy, does it?

I remember those repeated moments during each of my daughter’s first weeks in our lives – as they slept soundly on my chest, our breathing in sync and their sweaty little heads dampening my shirt –  when I would promise to protect them from harm, to love them no matter what and to do my best to see that they grew into who God intended them to become.

But how do I really protect them knowing that shitty things happen in the world and that violence perpetrated by, upon and around children knows no bounds. Different populations are impacted differently by emotional, physical or sexual violence than others, but children from all walks of life experience and are influenced by the horrors, tragedies and violence of the world.

I guess we could escape the world by sending our kids to some secluded mountain commune, buying our own Disney island or moving to Pleasantville, but short of such dramatic gestures, what is a parent to do?

What I know I can’t do is to let the violence, brokenness and evil in the world drive how I parent my children. For if I give violence and fear that kind of power, I limit their ability grab ahold of possibilities that I believe God places before them, I fail to trust the communities that have committed to also raise and nurture them and I deprive them of the overwhelming love, beauty and goodness that so often lives side by side with that which we do not want them to see.

Now some of you are thinking to yourself, “Well that’s all fine and dandy Mr. Pollyanna Sunshine, but what about keeping my children safe?” Well, I will overlook the “sunshine” comment, but here are some ways for us to think about safety in different ways that I think will can lessen our anxiety about trusting our children to the world.

Safety is not only physical – I firmly believe that most of the physical violence that our children see in their school and other areas is deeply tied to the kinds of emotional abuse that happens in the world today. Violence is so often the symptom – and certainly must be addressed – but we cannot become so focused on particular actions that we become distracted from addressing systemic and social patterns of emotional violence. Every time we refer to “those kids” or model bullying behavior or deny the humanity of another, we are feeding a culture of violence. And at the same, when we embrace a community larger than ourselves, model graciousness in the face of conflict and see the humanity of every being, we do our part in building a culture of non-violence — in body, mind and spirit.

Safety is not an individual endeavor – As I have had conversations with parents from my daughters’ school where we have had our share of violent incidents, there is a common tension held by many parents between the safety of our own children and the presence of the kids who are being physically violent. This is a crucial tension to acknowledge if only to make sure that we  do not pretend that we are seeking the betterment of the whole, when what we really want is to guarantee the safety of our own children. This is a natural yearning, but what we fail to realize is that in securing the safety of our own children and not really acting with the whole community in mind, we too often compromise the educational and social experience of the kids who might need it the most in order to make the community safer as a whole.

Safety cannot be guaranteed – We can teach our children  how to make good choices in the face of conflict, we can give them the ability to know when to walk away from an interaction and we can create clear channels of communication, but at the end of the day, no one can guarantee our childrens’ safety. We can make settings safer, sure, but if you are expecting any school, municipality or community to promise that no harm will ever come to any child, yours or someone else’s, this is simply not possible.

These questions and tensions are nothing new. Generation after generation of parents have had to learn this lesson, that our job is not to control our kids and shield them from pain and struggle, but to offer them the guidance, the support and love so they can make good choices in life, navigate a world of complexities and discover who God is yearning them to be and become. Each parent will do these things differently, each child will respond in her own way and hopefully, the larger community will be made better by all of our good choices.

In the end, parenting is a journey of guiding, trusting and letting go with the only choice that we really have to make is to what extent we will embrace the challenge.

That said, I will still keep my roll of bubble wrap, just in case

Peace to you my parenting friends – Bruce

PS: If you want further counsel from some good folks, I posed question, “How do we keep our children safe?” on my Facebook Page. [See comments]

This post originally appeared on www.reyes-chow.com.

Recess is a necessity. A child’s health, both physical and emotional, requires they break from sitting long hours at school and preferably get outdoors for a minimum of 15 minutes. Two breaks per long school day are justified. At least one should be mandatory. Recess not only keeps kids healthy, it improves their ability to learn. Studies tell us that outdoor time (and recess) help children calm their bodies and focus their minds when they return to classroom work.

Unfortunately, schools are cutting recess short. Some have eliminated recess altogether, mainly to prep kids for highly pressurized standardized tests. This is not only shortsighted it’s dangerous. Rates of ADHD have recently risen to epidemic levels in the US, as high as 20% among older boys. Many of these boys will be placed on medication. Misdiagnosis is a serious problem and some of it is made worse by not allowing enough opportunities for physical movement and/or outdoor playtime.

It’s time to speak out. Let’s demand that recess be a mandatory part of every child’s school day.

You DO need…music that you hope people outside of your house can’t hear you playing. Britney Spears works well for a dance party. So does Donald Duck or Usher. Peeking out the window to make sure neighbours aren’t in their backyard might make sense because you have to blare that stuff to have a proper party.

You DON’T need…a mirror. Dear Lord, make sure there are no reflective surfaces in the area. Even a too shiny oven door can burn your eyes if you catch the reflection of a 34-year-old man trying to do the splits.

You DO need…to stretch. Even if it’s under the guise of dance move, you need to remember kids don’t have bones or muscles. They are full of rubber bands and Stretch Armstrong’s. They can fold themselves into a box and come out of that box feeling limber. You can barely reach down and touch your toes. And you will be asked to perform the splits.

You DON’T need…to be worried about choreography. If your child isn’t giving you specific instructions on which dance routine you’re supposed to be performing (in our house we do a spin ice skating routine, a ballet twirly toes routine and an exercise toe tuck routine), just jump up in the air and spin and hold your shirt like it was a ballgown.

You DO need…an asthma inhaler whether you’re asthmatic or not. Kids, likely to make up for their lack of proper bones and muscles, have an unusual amount of oxygen in their lungs and can dance forever without getting tired. Adults know, almost to the breath, when they are about to faint. So get your puffer ready even if it’s just a placebo.

You DON’T need…to stop when the first song does. When the song ends, grab your kid and spin them around to the next one, even if it’s your least favourite song ever sung by Ms. Spears. Your ears will recover from the bleeding far quicker if your heart is filled with joy. The smile of my daughters can heal just about anything and I imagine your child’s can do the same.

You DO need…to keep dancing no matter how old you or your kids become. The day you stop dancing is the day you’ve grown up. And after seeing how happy kids are, who wants to grow up?

Well, he was a master thief-in-training until his parents caught onto his late night lock-picking, sister-robbing act. He had a good run though. Also, look out for the creepy shadow at the 1:05 mark.

Originally posted on Next Impulse Sports 

For parents, almost every day is a day of happiness, as those big smiles melt your heart and make the worries of your day feel insignificant.

In the Gallup Millennium World Survey, in which almost 60,000 people in 60 countries were polled, Gallup ranked ten things that matter most to people. At the top were health, a happy family life, and a job.

As a relatively new Dad, I can safely say that my personal  happiness index has grown exponentially since the birth of my son six months ago.

Maintaining that happy family life is always a work in progress, but those giggles laughs and smiles make it all worth it. Dads the word over can all relate to this.

I look forward to taking him to the beach, flying a kite and seeing him run around.

And for those of us that already enjoy these immense pleasures, kudos to you! You’re making the word a happier place, one smile at a time.